Monday, November 9, 2009

Fighting a Funk



Warning: bitching and moaning ahead.

I feel like I'm in a funk. My motivation running wise has been good. But in all other areas of my life, I'm in a rut. I can't even find a way to express exactly how I'm feeling in this post.

This weekend we took a quick trip to Long Island for my niece's christening. I was dreading the drive (ten hours of driving in two days) but really wanted to see my family and friends. Mike has been driving 900 miles a week for work, and he wasn't too keen on another drive, but he was a good sport about it, and we had a great time. Today I'm faced with the confusion I always feel after a trip to NY, I still miss living there, but I also love living here.

My house is a mess. I pride myself on keeping my house clean and in order, but lately I honestly couldn't care what it looks like, the disorder matches my mood. It's a struggle to put the laundry away after it's done, right now I have dirty dishes in the sink, and there they will stay because I don't feel like emptying the dishwasher. The kids' toys have made their way out of the TV room, and are scattered in every other room of the house. None of the beds are made, I have overdue library books. I don't have the desire or energy to do anything, and the venti non fat vanilla latte from Starbucks isn't doing what I hoped it would.

I'm tired of worrying about money. Mike made it through the re org at his company, he was the only rep in the Northeast region who made it through all the cuts. Believe me, he and I know how lucky he is to have his job, but he's miserable. And he still worries about his mom's illness.

I don't feel like I'm being the best mother either. Eliza is in that terrible 3's stage, she is so headstrong I feel like all I do is yell at her. It's lunchtime and she's still in her pajama's, I don't feel like fighting with her. Luke is being a sweetheart as usual, he's doing great in school and surprises me every day with the things that come out of his mouth.

I'm annoyed with the kid's pediatrician, I call every week to get the kids' flu shot's scheduled, and they still don't have the seasonal shot, much less the H1N1.

And I want to know why I haven't been able to get into my hotmail account for the past five days.

I hate to bitch, because I really don't have anything to bitch about. My children are healthy, Mike is working, we have a house and cars and food. So I'll stop now.

On a lighter note, I found out I don't know how to tie shoes. Mike and I were talking with my sister about teaching Luke to tie shoes, and apparently I do an extra step when tying. I make bunny ears, but do the "loop, swoop and pull" as well. I guess you do one or the other, but not both. Yup, I'm 37 and can't tie my shoes.

24 comments:

Kelly said...

Hang in there, Molly!! Maybe try to change up the routine or something to give yourself a little kick-start. We all have those moments, and it will get better!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

It happens. Don't beat yourself up! Everyone goes through it. Maybe just find 1 good thing to focus on.

Amo said...

I'm sorry you are going through this. And don't apologize for bitching. We all deserve to have a little bitch-fest every once in a while! Let the house fall apart for a while and take care of yourself instead. After that, there will be plenty of time left and energy left for everything else.

Mighty M said...

Sorry you are in a rough patch! But you are not alone! :-)

sissyruns said...

I say....have a glass of wine! Want to go out????

JenLo said...

Hate those funks! Give yourself a break. Everybody gets down on life once in a while. Hang in there--we don't mind listening to a little whining ;)

Momma Such said...

I honestly think it has something to do with the weather or this time of year or something. A lot of people I know, myself included, have been in a little funk lately. Hang in there, things will get better, I promise! :)

Oh, and about the shoe tying, don't feel bad b/c I make two bunny ears and cross them both over and under. I don't know how to really explain it, but my hubby has told me that I don't tie right, however I think it's easier for the boys to learn "my way." :)

Brianne said...

Hey you know I am right here with ya! And you know what I do think it is good to vent about it. I know all the comments on my blog, make me feel a little less a lone. Misery loves company, right?

Tara said...

It is totally ok to bitch and what better place to do it then a blog. It's like your own personal journal except there are stalker out here in blogland who will try and make you feel better! Hang in there. I am glad your husband kept his job; this is a tough economy right now. I hope his mother is doing better? And Molly, you sound like you are a GREAT mother, so don't worry about that one!
Sounds like you need a facial and a glass or two of wine!!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Thanks for the Follow, Molly. :) It's totally okay to bitch--it's YOUR blog! Believe me, I'd be doing my fair share, but too many of my "real life" friends read my blog, and I can't stir up trouble. :s

You are NOT a bad mom. I've felt the same way you do almost every day this week. My oldest will be 4 in December, and she about drives me nuts with her attitude, extra energy, sass, you name it.

Just take a deep breath take a break. :)

Susan Fobes said...

This mood thing is going around! Sometimes things just pile up and you just don't have the stamina to handle them. I am in that same sort of funk today and not feeling the best on top of that. Do you know what we had for dinner? Pancakes! Breakfast for dinner is the lazy way out, but thank goodness the kids think it's a treat. (I know better...)
I hope you feel like yourself soon.

mudmama said...

It feels good to bitch sometimes! :) This mood will pass (i was right there with ya today!) snd you will feel like your ol' self again! :)

Janie B said...

Don't worry about the funk. Just lean into it until it passes. ((Hugs!))

G-Zell said...

Gurllllll it is all good. Bitch away mommas! hey I feel ya! you have read my post. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day!..... take care!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

these are the days i seriously contemplate self-medication. in my mind i KNOW my life is not THAT bad so then why do i FEEL like it is that bad? why? BECAUSE I AM CRAZY

Tracy DeLuca said...

There are days (weeks) when I feel like this. When it doesn't even matter what the good things in my life are, all I can see or think about are the bad things. And the motivation to change anything or accomplish anything is gone. I hope you feel better soon!

Cynthia at A Shimmy in My Spirit said...

So sorry to hear how difficult things are for you. I know this may sound shallow but it really helps me. Put some favorite music on and dance around your kitchen for 5 minutes. I can improve my mood 15-20% in just 5 minutes (Yes I know it sounds dorky but I've kept a chart). It helps.

blueviolet said...

I hear of lots of people in a funk. Not that it's any consolation, but maybe it's the time of year.

What you said about tying your shoes makes me laugh because I have a video of me tying my shoes in draft right now. I've been told I tie them weird. I don't think so but we'll see.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

When I feel the way you are, I just try to remember that it's a phase. I go and get a pedicure or something along those lines and try to move on.

Funny, I grew up in the NY metro area and moved to northern NY for a year. Half way between Buffalo and Rochester. I had a hard time with it, really and ended up moving back here. Dunno, it's tough to leave this area.

kristen said...

Bitch away! espicially if it makes you feel better.

We all get in these moods. they suck, but eventually they pass. Sometimes I get snarky and grumpy for no good reason. Then I'll be driving home and suddenly the light bulb will go off and I realize how SO LUCKY and BLESSED I am to have all the things you mentioned (sans the kiddies). Great house, great husband, great family....etc. Then I snap out of it and say, "why the f am I bitching about all thise petty things"

Remember that we CHOOSE the mood we want to be in. You can be grumpy and miserable. OR you can meditate on all the positive things in your life and be happy and thankfull. As a mother and a wife - your family will be better for it too :)

Feel better girl! (I hope that wasn't too preachy)

JaelCustomDesigns said...

Oh, ((Hugs))! I'm sure this is a funk that you'll be over in no time! We all have our Mommy Moments!

I live in NC and I'm a transplant from NY. I love visiting home but, have no desire to return and live there.

yonca said...

Molly, I feel you! I'm tired of worrying about money too. I almost forgot to go out, eating outsite or spending some money for myself. Whenever i feel like that, choose a movie, usually comedy which will make me feel better. It will pass. Take care.

Xenia said...

I definitely get in these funks too. And boy oh boy have I been there with the 3-year-old that just gets yelled at all day and then night comes and we both just feel awful. Things go up and down and in the end, it'll all turn out okay.

Except that shoe-tying thing. You're just a freak with that one. :)

Nicole said...

Sometimes you just have nothing to complain about, and you still feel like complaining. Odd isn't it... I know how you feel.
A run always makes me feel better.