Regardless, I've been alone with the kids all week, Mike is due back from his trip tonight, but he leaves again on Sunday for a few days. And surprisingly, I haven't lost my mind. I think.
I feel like in some ways, we have a traditional Leave it To Beaver marriage, Mike works and I take care of the house and kids. Mike doesn't have expectations for me, but I have them for myself. Every day at 4:30 I get a little OCD, making sure the house looks nice, and that I've done everything I meant to that day. When you're a Stay At Home Mom, it's hard to gauge how you're doing. When I was a Salesperson it was easy, I had clear goals to attain, and if I made them, I was rewarded. But now, I don't have a quarterly review of my housekeeping skills, and I don't get a raise when my kids are happy and well behaved (well, I might get a coffee mug from Chicago). So although I've missed Mike this week, with him gone my days have been more easy going, I even let the kids skip brushing teeth one night.
Last night I was sitting at the table with the kids as they ate, and something felt familiar, it felt like my childhood. My parents divorced over 30 years ago, and we lived with my Mom, and saw my Dad for Wednesday night dinners at an Italian restaurant, or for weekends in Brooklyn. I don't know how my Mom did it as a single parent. Sure she yelled, and I know she was unhappy at times, but we were a team. She put herself through school, and spent her nights at class or at the kitchen table studying. So sitting with my kids reminded me of her, which I guess is good and bad at the same time.
This is the picture that caused me to lose my previous post, but I love it. I'm nine months old here, and I love what my parents are wearing. Nope, it wasn't a costume party, just the early '70's.