Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Parenting Post


I wrote out this post, then something happened when I added a photo, and the whole thing got screwed up. Which is annoying because when I write, I'm emptying out whatever I have going on in my head, and once it's cleared out it's hard to find it again.

Regardless, I've been alone with the kids all week, Mike is due back from his trip tonight, but he leaves again on Sunday for a few days. And surprisingly, I haven't lost my mind. I think.

I feel like in some ways, we have a traditional Leave it To Beaver marriage, Mike works and I take care of the house and kids. Mike doesn't have expectations for me, but I have them for myself. Every day at 4:30 I get a little OCD, making sure the house looks nice, and that I've done everything I meant to that day. When you're a Stay At Home Mom, it's hard to gauge how you're doing. When I was a Salesperson it was easy, I had clear goals to attain, and if I made them, I was rewarded. But now, I don't have a quarterly review of my housekeeping skills, and I don't get a raise when my kids are happy and well behaved (well, I might get a coffee mug from Chicago). So although I've missed Mike this week, with him gone my days have been more easy going, I even let the kids skip brushing teeth one night.

Last night I was sitting at the table with the kids as they ate, and something felt familiar, it felt like my childhood. My parents divorced over 30 years ago, and we lived with my Mom, and saw my Dad for Wednesday night dinners at an Italian restaurant, or for weekends in Brooklyn. I don't know how my Mom did it as a single parent. Sure she yelled, and I know she was unhappy at times, but we were a team. She put herself through school, and spent her nights at class or at the kitchen table studying. So sitting with my kids reminded me of her, which I guess is good and bad at the same time.

This is the picture that caused me to lose my previous post, but I love it. I'm nine months old here, and I love what my parents are wearing. Nope, it wasn't a costume party, just the early '70's.

12 comments:

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

I know what you mean about emptying out your brain when you write. That's exactly what I do and I hate having to rewrite something. I always feel like I missed a critical piece!

I liked this post...I've noticed I also get a little more slack when I know my husband won't be home. It's not like he'd reprimand me or anything, but I do feel like I need to be good at my "job". When he's gone, everyone is a little more lax, I think. But then again, when the husband is gone, I put the kids to bed early so I have more "me" time. :)

I love the picture. I think that same painting is in the background of all my parent's pictures!

HEATHER @ runfastermommy! said...

love the outfits :) I get so upset when I lose a post :(

Ronnie said...

Love the pic! I love looking at old photos. I'm trying to figure out who you favor...

I'm only PT now and I'm not so good at the housekeeping thing anymore. Most of the time it just doesn't feel like it matters. The rest of the time it doesn't irritate me enough to clean it up! Where's the inspiration??

As for the smoothies...I honestly don't love them (don't tell the kids) but I remind myself how good they are for me and I believe that I'd acquire the taste. I got some proten powder to also put in them as well. We'll see... :)

Kelly said...

Even though I work part-time, I know exactly what you mean about that time of day right before daddy comes home. I feel like I have to have something to "show" for my day. Too bad, because I'm sure he doesn't expect it...it's just something we put on ourselves. I'm glad you are enjoying the "break."

Mighty M said...

You and your mom look so alike! Beautiful.

Sorry you lost your original post, but this one was pretty good too. :)

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Tara said...

You and your mom look alike! I love her outfit; she looks like a really cool parent.

I remember when my husband and I first moved out to Colorado and I didn't work for awhile, I would do the same thing. House was clean and dinner was cooked. I so looked forward to him coming home! I would give anything to NOT work anymore!

The Happy Runner said...

Great photo.

I get the 4:30 psychos too :-)

yonca said...

What a lovely pic! I agree you and your mom alike. You both are beautiful!

Susan Fobes said...

Wow! You are the spitting image of your mother! Don't use the house shape as a guage to your success, use your kids happiness...

I'm a full-time mummy... said...

Lovely post! I hate it too when I accidentally closed/cleared the page while I was still typing. Happens normally when my boy sleeps on my front and I had to type with 1 hand :P

Anyway, dropping by from SITS to wish you a "Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!"

p.s: You've got the same cheeky grin back when you're 9mths old and now ;p

Helene said...

Oh what a bummer that you lost your original post but this one was beautifully written, just the same! Love the picture....true 70's style!

My husband also travels on business and I'm a total slacker on things when he's gone. The kids pretty much eat chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese the entire time, give baths every other night instead of every night...you know the drill. Sometimes it's nice to not have another person adding to the stress but then again it does get lonely.

Sounds like your mom did the best she could, given the situation.

Found you through SITS..happy Saturday!